Me and my boyfriend had been sexually active for a long time. The only contraceptive we use is the condom and at times when the tension was too much for us we don't get to use it and we do the pull out method, so that is a huge no no again when it comes to sex. We weren’t that wild. Whenever I’m at his place their maid is around all the time and at my place my grandmother at times checks on us because my dad told her to do so. You know what they say, strict parents make sneaky children. Whenever we get a window of opportunity we go for it, surprisingly we never get caught and sometimes after our dates we go straight to a motel.
A month has passed since my last period and to be honest it didn't worry me I got so much confidence that nothing is growing inside me.
After a week of what supposed to be the week of my period I noticed some changes in my body. I get tired all the time, my boobs are so sensitive, and at that time I got no control of my emotion. But I never had morning sickness.
More days have passed and still nothing. Ofcourse I got scared. I kept telling my boyfriend what if I was pregnant? He didn't brush it off because I was already late for more than a week.
October 23
We had to know if I really was pregnant. Since our places are always heavily guarded we went to a motel. I bought two packages of the pregnancy test. When we got there I couldn’t pee. All I can think about is “What if I really am pregnant? What am I gonna do?†My boyfriend noticed I was thinking too much so he comforted me. Telling me that no matter what happens he will be by my side always. An hour had passed before we took the test. And woudnt you know it? It was a positive. Yaaaay~ But nope! No hint of happiness came to me.
I’m young. My boyfriend is young! We’re only 20 years old!
I kept crying. Everything was a mix, no, not a mix, but a huge mess. But my boyfriend kept surprising me though, he told me he could find a job, his cousin is in the US and didn't finish school but serves in the army and is living a nice life there (from what I remember) so he thought maybe he could do that to support me and our baby. “But..†that wasn't just what he said there was more to it. He said “If there are other options, are you up for it?â€
This page is women who screams for a second chance to make things work out so I am hoping on judgement comes.
The night before that day I did my research and ofcourse it led me to this page and to MissElla. We texted MissElla on that day and waited for her reply.
After all the drama we started to makeout. Yes Im guilty and yes WE HAD SEX. I remembered telling him “This is not what couples do when they find out their pregnant this is so wrong.†He answered “Then why does it feel so good?†He got me there and well…. hehehe.
Contacting MissElla was the hardest thing to tell ya’ll the truth. I know a lot must have been texting her and such but it was really hard. We already have the cash but we always had to wait for a time for MissElla to be active in texting to make the transaction.
A few days have passed before we could talk to MissElla properly. We were given two options. The Cyto or the Mife. MissElla asked us how long the pregnancy has been and at the time I was 6 weeks pregnant and she gave us the recommendation of the CytoKit. Us, having no idea about these things just agreed and made the transaction. My boyfriend made the pay and I was the one to take to package.
October 28
The item can be delivered at your house or it can be picked up. Knowing the people at my house they will surely open it and kill me same goes for my boyfriend’s house. It was a Saturday, after my classes I went straight to where I asked for it to be delivered. I was scared because what if I get caught with these things since abortion in illegal in our dying county. But when I picked up the item there no other questions asked other than what they usually ask when picking up packages.
When I got home I locked myself in my room and teared off the plastics only to find a G-shock casing. Yes, a G-shock like the watch with a necklace inside and no watch. I was confused af. Until I removed the false bottom which contained the CytoKit. I was like “DAAAAAMN. MissElla is good.†Hahaha!
At that night I chatted MissElla for the instructions.
That's when things got bad.
There was an indicated time on when to take the pills, when to stop, when to eat what not to eat, when to wake up, what to do what not to do, just EVERYTHING! It was all there!
I showed it to my boyfriend and we were really thinking of what lie to tell my family for them to agree on letting go to an overnight thing.
But somehow I got them to let me go. Well I did tell them I’ll be staying with a girl friend. LOL
Days before our procedure on my way home I decided to go to the mall and eat because I was really craving for different kinds of food. When a couple went pass me, they were like 21 or 23 years old Im not sure, they have a child who was maybe 1 year old or more. They seemed happy. It got me thinking “Hey if they done it, why cant we?†The second thoughts came to me. My cravings disappeared. I ran home and locked myself in my room. I started crying. I kept saying sorry to my unborn child. I messaged my boyfriend saying that everything that's happened is taking too much of me. I remembered telling him “Im the mistake not the one inside me.â€
My boyfriend drove to me that day and asked me if I was having second thoughts. I said yes. But we are still gonna go through the procedure.
All through out those days he took care of me more than he did before when all I did was cry or get mad or complain about the changes in my body. It's the mood swings okay?! Its part of the pregnancy. Huhuhu.
November 30
I was 7 weeks pregnant on the day of the procedure. It was the perfect timing. No school something less to worry about.
We agreed to meet near the hotel we were gonna stay at, at 8 in the morning.
We first got breakfast. My boyfriend ordered a lot of food for me.
We then went straight to the grocery to buy the things we need. AND TAKE NOTE LADIES! THESE ARE THE MUST HAVES:
· ADULT DIAPERS
· TISSUES
· WET WIPES
· CRACKERS
· A BOTTLE OF WATER
· JACKET OR HOODIE
· TICK LAYER OF COVERS
· A COMFORTABLE PLACE TO DO THE PROCEDURE
· NAPKINS
Ofcourse the lady in the cash register was eyeing us specially when she saw the adult diapers. Just ignore it. They wont ask you anyway. It’s called “costumer’s privacy.â€
It won’t cost you that much but I think we didn't exceed Php500.00 when doing our grocery shopping. Plus, to be sure make sure to buy 5 diapers just in case.
The hotel we were gonna stay at was just a walking distance from the grocery and my boyfriend already booked a room in advance.
We got there early at 10am. We set everything up. Our stuff, the CytoKit was at the corner of the bed so it’s reachable and I took a shower. WE HAD TO FOLLOW EVERYTHING ON THE INSTRUCTIONS OR IT WILL BECOME A FLOP. WORD PER WORD. SO BE CATIOUS ABOUT EVERYTHING! FOLLOW WHAT IS WRITTEN ON IT AND THINGS WILL BE FINE.
While waiting for the time were just in bed laughing. I love that man so much. But if people were to find out what we’ve done they would judge us and say that it’s all lust. No one could possibly understand our situation (other than the women in this website, I love you all).
Then kicks in the horny feelings. Yes I know! Again! Im guilty. We were both wondering if having sex before the procedure was a bad thing. It was 12pm and the instructions said not to eat or drink anything 2 hours before the procedure. So we were like why not. HAHAHAHA. Sorry. I read that a pregnant woman gets hornier that a woman that is not pregnant.
After that we were just watching some TV and just cuddle while waiting for the right time.
1 hour before the procedure I geared up, by gear up I mean putting on the adult diapers, hoodie and burying myself under the sheets. One more thing I also asked from my boyfriend that if I ever start panicking I made him promise to be strong for the both of us because I might start to give up and he will be my only source of strength.
I was right to be scared because it hurts. There was no weird feeling yet. Everything was normal on my first hour, so far. I wasn't allowed to stand up so I was in bed the whole time.
I felt like I wanted to puke. BUT YOU HAVE TO ENDURE EVERYTHING. IF NOT THE PROCEDURE WILL NOT BE A SUCCESS. At this point the fever was starting but no blood came out yet.
The feeling does go away but it comes back every now and then. Just keep yourself occupied and hold everything in. My tolerance for pain is really low, so believe me when I say IT IS BEARABLE. I was shivering so bad at this time and my body temperature was so hot that even my boyfriend wanted to stop the whole thing but we still went on with it.
At this point I started give up. I couldn’t take it I was thinking but my boyfriend was reassuring me that things will be fine and that he was there with me. I keep on getting the chills but according to the instructions it was part of it.
We turned off the lights and went to sleep. No blood came out yet.
Every hour I wake up my boyfriend to ask what time it is. I couldn't sleep right.
November 31
The first thing I did was drink water. I was so damn thirty as hell. It was the WORST hours of my life. After that I wanted to go to the bathroom but even with the little movements I do felt like I was using all of my energy. It was like my body was paper and any wrong move will tear me into pieces. When I got to the bath room and removed my adult diaper there was blood which was expected so we thought it was a success. But I didn't really saw what came out when I peed because when I peed poop came out too. Hehe. Im sorry I couldn’t control it. My boyfriend asked me if I wanted to eat but I was so drained that I just wanted to sleep.
8AM
The alarm went on. I was awake but I felt so tired. Like I had worked out all night, I was weak. My boyfriend was calling for a room service and ask for food. While waiting for the food I tried standing up because it said not to be bed rested but to exercise. I went to the bathroom again to pee and I felt clumps of blood came out me which was a good sign to indicate that it was a success.
We fixed up my boyfriend took a shower and we went home.
November 2-10
In the instructions it said “YOU HAVE TO HELP YOURSELF FOR YOU TO BE OKAY!†So I did help myself. After the procedure it not over ladies. There are some cases when some didn't bleed after or had a hard time bleeding or what’s worst is having UTI. I followed everything and I hope you all will do because abortion is a serious matter for our health.
ALSO I HAVE AN EXTRA AMOXICILLIN 9PCS.
I TRIED BUYING THEM ON A PHARMACY AND THEY TOLD ME ITS GENERIC BUT MY BOYFRIEND MANAGED TO TAKE A FEW AT THEIR HOSPITAL.
On the night of November 10 my lower abdomen was really hurting. On a scale of one to 10 on how I will rate the pain it could be a 7 or 8. I couldn’t sleep because of the pain. I kept twisting and turning in my bed but nothing, it couldn’t be helped. That’s when I got scared that what if our abortion was not a success?
November 11
In the morning when I was about to take a shower I peed first and I felt something came along my pee. When I stood up to check I was surprised because I saw this huge chunk of blood. It was huge. I think it was the fetus. As a human being, and as much as I am not worth to be called this but as a mom, it made my heart shatter. I was speechless. I felt so bad that I just flushed it.
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Months have passed, I even had a checkup and there was no trace of abortion or anything left inside me. It was a success.
There are reasons behind reasons of why we did this, at times they can be seen as good or bad. But this was my choice. Yes, I have learned from this experience. And I never want to experience them again. I hope there are still people here to see that what happened to me is that I was given a choice, the most hardest choice, and I made my decision not only for me but for my boyfriend and for what was supposed to be our baby.